Welcome Home Nash......

Christmas Eve day Jeff and I headed down to the hospital to camp out waiting for the Doctor.....hoping we would get the good news that Nash could come home.  When we first arrived the Nurse who he had was not supportive. She basically said she didn't think we could go home today.  I was so angry. I knew he would be fine he would have little dips and spells while eating which I knew and I knew exactly what to do...sometimes he just needed help breathing, sucking and swallowing. we sat around for a long time waiting for the word from the Dr. Finally she came in and said we felt confident so she wasn't worried about sending us home.  I couldn't wait to get out of there fast enough! Thankfully Grammy, and Leslie were holding down the fort at home making cookies for Santa and keeping the boys busy!! 

 The boys were so excited to finally hold Nash. Rhys was so cute with him and has continued to love him and even tries to share his snacks with Nash.

Christmas Eve was especially sweet with all of my babies home under one roof. I slept for the first time since Nash was born.....well slept better or as much as you can with a newborn!!

From the NICU

Before Nash was born I thought I knew preemies. In fact having already had two babies in the NICU I thought I was seasoned and that this NICU stay would be a complete breeze. WOW was I wrong.  There is really no way to describe having carried your baby around for in my case seven months and then suddenly have your baby ripped out of you and you can't do anything for the baby for weeks. It pretty much goes against all things of nature. I thought that I would handle it so much better this time around but.....Nash was so much earlier than the other two and was in for a much longer road than Ryder and Rhys. The best way to describe having to leave your baby at the hospital is having your heart ripped in two. I was so torn leaving the other boys at home and being with Nash who was over an hour away. It was so tough. Especially for Noah and Sawyer who seemed to know more of what was going on this time around. Being around Christmas there was a TON of activities that we were missing out on and plays and performances I couldn't make it too. Heartbreaking. 

I finally got to hold Nash 5 days after he was born. 

 Meeting Noah and Ryder for the first time....

 We got to stay at the Ronald McDonald house for a weekend.  It was so nice to be together and close to Nash. Especially because I still couldn't drive to get down to San Diego...

 The week before  Christmas I had a conversation with a nurse who basically told me if I wanted my baby to come home by New Years I needed to be down at the hospital as much as possible.  Nurses are great but they take care of 3 sometimes 4 high risk babies at a time. When a baby has a feeding tube like Nash did they tend to just hook them up to the tube feeding because lets face it.....it is easier and less work.  So if we wanted Nash home I needed to get him to take all his feedings by bottle and gain weight. We are so blessed that we have so much family and friends who took amazing care of our kids so that I could be down at the hospital as much as possible those final days so I could get our baby home!

 Santa visited the NICU....

 Finally after three and a half weeks we got to take our sweet baby home on Christmas EVE. Talk about a miracle.  Many of the nurses still couldn't believe how quickly he came home and how quickly he turned around.  It felt like a dream walking out of that hospital with our baby it had been a long three weeks and we truly felt like we had received our little miracle.

Decking the Halls

I knew I didn't have a lot of time before I was either on bed rest or having a baby so I wanted to make sure we got the house decorated. It took a lot longer than I wanted but I was so glad that it was done. Sawyer was the only one who stuck around long enough to put the star on the top. He was thrilled to be able to help!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving did indeed happen before Nash was born. We stayed close to home because at the time we didn't know if I would be on bed rest. It was a nice low key week. Jeff had the week off which was really nice. We spent the week having fun and being together.

The story and update....

I realize how boring this story might be but I don't want to forget anything surrounding the birth of Nash.

The Sunday after Thanksgiving I started not feeling well. I figured it was my blood pressure and didn't worry too much. I spent the next few days not doing much because I felt lousy. Finally on Wednesday my blood pressure got really high. I called the Doctor he called in some blood pressure medicine and said he wanted me on complete bed rest and he wanted to see me first thing Thursday.  When I went in Thursday my blood pressure was very high and I had protein in my urine. I had a slight headache but nothing terrible. The doctor said to continue the blood pressure medicine and come back Friday. He said to pack a bag and plan on going to the hospital.

Thursday night my headache was a million times worse. I couldn't sleep, eat or do anything. I was pretty much huddled up in a ball in bed. I have dealt with migraines and this pain was SO much more intense with zero relief.  Friday morning FINALLY came around after a crazy LONG night.  Jeff took me to the dr Friday morning. Sure enough my blood pressure was high a little lower than Thursday but the dr said I looked awful and he didn't feel comfortable with me going home.  He sent me down to San Diego in case I had to deliver early the Temecula area hospitals aren't equipped to deal with a 31 week baby.

When Jeff and I arrived at the hospital my blood pressure was fine....so frustrating. I had the worst nurse who was basically telling me I was full of it and that I was going home.  After a few hours the dr finally saw me for an ultrasound. She took one look at me and said she was admitting me. Hoping that I could make it three days to get the steroids for his lungs.  She wasn't on call and would see me on Monday.
They started me on Magnesium and gave me the first steroid shot. My head at this point was unbearable. I started throwing up in the middle of the night and I couldn't keep any food down.  At about 2 Saturday the dr on call sat down with us and said he was worried that even though my pressure weren't super high that I had possibly developed swelling on my brain and he didn't want to risk a seizure or stroke or death. 20 minutes later I was on the operating table.  This is the part where I loose it crying throwing up and general nervousness. I hate un planned things and not being in control.

They had a great team all in place to have Nash go directly to the NICU. They explained that given how early he was I probably would get to see him for a quick second and that was it.  I couldn't believe it when they pulled him out he was blue and purple. I will NEVER forget that image I was so scared. Luckily he started crying a little so I knew he was at least breathing.

As soon as they got the baby and placenta out my headache went away.  It was the craziest thing. Even the anestesiogist commented on how my speech was no longer slurred and my coloring looked more normal.  I am lucky that as soon as they get the baby out my blood pressure goes back to normal.

The next few days are still a blur due to all the medicines I was on.  I got to see Nash and hold him for a quick second.  It was so hard to have your baby ripped out of you and then not able to care for them at all. So not the way it was supposed to be.
I thought I knew preemies.....but this little guy and our experience has been so much more difficult.

On Sunday night Nash had to be placed on a ventilator it was scary and very emotional.  He continued on lots of breathing help for the next week.

Wednesday I was discharged from the hospital.

Finally Nash was doing much better he really turned a corner at about a week of life.
Now currently at two weeks of life he is doing SO much better. He is currently gaining weight and just needs to learn to eat from a bottle for all of his feedings and he will get to come home!!

It has been a very overwhelming few weeks. We are exhausted and ready for our sweet little guy to come home. We know he is in the best place possible and we feel very good about his care. We can't believe how much our family and friends have stepped up to help us. Between Jeff going back to work the four kids and driving over an hour each way it has been a huge blessing to have such wonderful people in our lives.

Sweet baby boy

Nash Dean Trapp came into the world nine weeks early on December 1, 2012.
He weighed 4lbs 1oz and was 16 1/2 inches long. He has had a bit of a rough start but looks as though he has turned a corner and is doing SO much better. We are so blessed by all the help we have received and are so grateful to have him hear safely. Now to just get him home!!